Leaving

Carly Floyd

5/22/10

Leaving home, leaving family and friends behind

And not knowing what to expect

Is hard.

But reaching my destination I realize

No one knows me here

Here I am not the quiet, shy girl

Here I am not alone in being smart.

In fact, most are smarter, thoughtful.

I made friends quickly

And grew.

Came out of my shell.

Laughed and smiled.

People noticed.

Then the week came to an end and I

I had to leave it all behind

My new confidence

My new love of life

My new self

I had to come back

Where everyone knows me as who I was

And not the outgoing person I have become.

Memories are all I have

Not even pictures.

And I know those friends I made

I will never see again.

Because at some point

We all have to go back home.

My Goodbyes

By Carly Floyd

5/21/10

I'm flying high above the world

My home somewhere far below

And yours even farther

Somewhere

Below the clouds

There is life

There is you.

From here, I feel I can escape

And go anywhere

But after all,

Everything must land.

Even me.

So goodbye to all I've left to leave

Paola, Kassy, Evelyn, Amy, Steve

Goodbye to workshop 4

Goodbye to Brynn and the Chopper

Goodbye to history

And to not being the smartest.

Goodbye to room 251

Goodbye to Washington

Goodbye to Close Up

Goodbye

Goodbye me.

The Fall

By Carly Floyd

5/21/10

High above the clouds

A fall like this would kill me, kill me

End me

But out the window of the plane

I see it

Falling through the blue

From the sky

Plummeting

And maybe then I could forget myself

My petty problems

To just have my whole world

Depend on how far gravity could take me.

How long?

How long until I hit?

Maybe I could catch a cloud

And sleep on the white

And live in the sky forever,

above even the birds.

But sooner or later,

you have to come back to earth.

And the fall

Would be beautiful, no?

Forget

Carly Floyd

3/29/10

Slip into the stupor

The endless black in my head

Unfocus my eyes

And detach

Sinking

(Flying?)

Through the nothing

And close

Lashes brush against my cheek

The body sleeps

But I

I am not there

I am somewhere above

Somewhere more

Somewhere

Where I can't remember.

So for now

I can forget

And that,

That is bliss.

Scream

Carly Floyd

3/29/10

This chill

Goes deep

I want to scream.

Because there's nothing I can say

Or do

So I just sit here and take it.

Even when I want to go home

Lay in bed

Sleep and forget.

But I'm bound here

So I just imagine.

(Try)

To fade into the shadows.

Shattered

Carly Floyd

3/29/10

There is a grain of truth

In every hurtful lie.

So silently I sit

Passing time goes by.

And dreaming empty days

For shattered thoughts I cry.

And in this darkened room

My heart begins to die.

Sweater

Carly Floyd

3/29/10

Cold, gray world outside the window

Biting winds shake the panes.

Inside, the cold still reaches me

The blood freezes in my veins.

This inner cold is chilling

Blankets don't keep the heat.

And though I clutch my sweater to my skin

My heart flutters in a fragile beat.

I dream of hidden sunshine

Of fire in the hearth

And suddenly, I feel it

A subtle sense of warmth.

I cuddle in my blanket

Me in my sweater here

And even with the storm outside

In my cocoon, I have no fear.

My Secret

Carly Floyd

3/29/10

Smile

Secret smile

Secret flutter of the heart.

Cause I lie

When I talk to you

I can't even start.

I love

Say I love you

And you will never know.

For you're more

Than I can give you

So now it's time to go.

You

Carly Floyd

3/29/10

You are the reason my blood runs

For my heart beats inly for you.

You are the light in my eyes

For the stars shine when I see you.

You are the spring in my step

As I hurry to get to you.

You are my sweet smile

From the joy when I talk to you.

You are

All the best in me.

Think of me

Carly Floyd

3/29/10

I speak to you

About you

Shows I care.

I share with you

About you

Shows I'm here.

You

You never even think of me.

Do you?

Situation

By Carly Floyd

3/25/10

This out of body feeling

Took me by surprise.

Is this me I'm feeling?

I can't believe my eyes.

This isn't me- it can't be.

I'm not this kind of girl!

But still, I know, it's happening.

This thing, I know, it's real.

Through the fog around me

I find the will to stop.

To leave this situation

And find which way is up.

Cold

3/18/10

By Carly Floyd

Spring is here

Walking home

Only weeks left in school.

Trees sway.

Sun shines.

God smiles upon the earth.

But I,

I am hurt.

And I promised myself

I wouldn't cry until I got home.

Away from all these people.

Usually

This weather fills me with joy

But I can only remember

All the things that were said.

The comments people made.

Like I couldn't hear.

Like it didn't even matter.

As the wind plays with my hair

And warmth fills me

I want to scream.

I don't want to cheer up!
I can't forget what happened,

Just because the birds sing.

Just because I hear children laughing in the park.

Even though the sun beats down on me,

It doesn't touch me.

Inside, I am cold.

Sighting

When I dream

I dream of you

I see your face in solitude.

And you're here

Standing there

See the wind flying through your hair.

And suddenly, it comes to me

I remember all we used to be

And I wonder

Do you ever think of me?

And yet I stay

Out if sight

And you, none the wiser.

But I was there

In the shadows

Seeking proof that you really do live

Outside of my imagination.