Sunday, January 3, 2010

Don't Feel Right

It is the beginning
But this feeling
Isn't right.
Already, I regret
And I dread seeing
My guy.
We're only just together
So why can I so clearly
See us apart?
It's all I can focus on
And I have to
Hide
My
Heart
From you.

- Carly Floyd
11/13/09

The Boyfriend Poem

Girl meets boy
And finds she likes him
This cute and funny guy.
They end up talking
Fondness grows
She dreams until it hurts.
She thinks she wants him
To be hers
She thinks she's ready.
She flirts and laughs
And smiles a lot
And one day, he asks her out.

Suddenly reality hits
She's lost without a clue.
"This is awkward!
What do I say?!
I don't know what to do!"

This is
A first for her
She's scared and skittish here
Regretting ever falling hard
Because now she's got to follow through.
Butterflies all over
It's hard to face the day
There, that's him, he's here now
"I don't know what to say!"
Uneasy feelings of remorse
"What did I get into?"
The wish to just go back a week
To before any of this...

Wait.
Stop.
This isn't right.
"I shouldn't feel this way."
She thinks.
"I should enjoy my boyfriend
Not rue the day he asked me!
But I can't help the way I feel
And I feel trapped with him!"

Three weeks go by, she tries
But finally it's time to say:
"It's not fair to lead you on.
I don't feel the same.
I thought I did but now I know
Just know you're not to blame!
I know that I'm not being fair
But I can't help my feelings
I'm sorry - you did nothing wrong
It's me that needs the healing
I hope you know I'm sorry
Can we still be friends?
I still think that you're really sweet
I'd hate if this were the end."

She wrote a letter saying so
And made it very sweet
She gave it to him
Heavy heart
Wait for him to read.
Tick, tock, the clock goes by
Full of nervous feelings.
Finally she sees him
Angry glint in his eyes.

"Make it clear!"
He says to her
"What are you trying to say?"
"I'm breaking up with you.
I'm sorry I feel this way."
If looks could kill she would be dead
"I knew it." he said.
He walks away, here yelling after him
"Don't talk to me!" Instead.

All day she is ignores
Except for poison glances
The guilt is crippling
But, strangest thing
Her butterflies are clearing.
She feels much better in her heart
She is finally free
No man to have to live for
"I can finally be me!"

So though her ex still hates her
And prob'ly always will
She can't help her grinning
It's the way she's meant to be.

- Carly Floyd
11/12/09

Inspiration

So many gray months without
Expression.
Sitting
Thinking
Pen to paper and...
Nothing.
Just an ink dot.
The trash is overflowing with
Failures.
Frustration and anger
When
Suddenly
Clouds lift outside
And sunlight illuminates the blank
Sheet.
A breeze stirs the long stagnant air
I
Inhale
Finally, fresh life
And I know
Pen to the paper
Words
Are
Born.

- Carly FLoyd
11/11/09

Piano

In the beginning was the silence
Chills
Pregnant air, heavy with anticipation
Fingers raise, and settle tentatively on the keys
Hands take on the familiar patterns
Cool to the touch
Wait
Breathe
And begin to play
Softly at first
Eyes closed to the haunting melody
Then with force, and a passion
Soulful singing sound
Heart-wrenching notes of the climax
So beautiful
Tears
Falling notes
Softer, slower
Ending
The finality of the last note still hangs overhead
Ghosts of sound
Breathe
Stand and bow
(Invisible Audience)
And leave
Footsteps echo in the empty room
And the hush falls once again

- Carly Floyd
11/11/09

Insomnia

Lay in bed, awake again
Moonlight shinig on my face
Alarm clock numbers rising
Thinking thoughts that will not rest.
Turn right and left and back again
Fluff the pillows, sigh.
This vicious cycle will not end.
Because I still lie
Awake.
I'm tired, but my eyes won't close
The numbers, ticking higher
Red lights blur
My tired eyes focus
And I panic, because I know
I'll be exhausted tomorrow.
I'm so tired of being tired!
When will it end?
Because I'm still awake...

- Carly FLoyd
10/23/09